rare

Home in Canada

2012-01-28T20:17:00.000+02:00

Although I have never ever thought that I’ll gonna have a home here in Canada! But seems I need one, even here!

Still we didn’t settle down, still we are searching for an apartment, even for a room! we just wana a place to consider it as home, I drop what I said! I’ll have home here, and can’t wait to find it, and say Home Sweet Home ..

à Montréal

2012-01-09T23:04:00.003+02:00

Across the seas, with -14 degree, from Montreal I send my regards.

One simple word describes it at the moment! It’s so gray!!!

Flying to Montreal

2011-12-18T09:29:00.003+02:00

Seems 2012 gonna be a year full of changes!

Mhmdy & I are flying to Canada/Montreal as we have applied for immigration since ages, and finally we’ve got the visa!

By first of January I’ll be there! :S I’ll give birth there inshalla!

Can’t concentrate! Don’t know from where I shall start! What should I do! My to do list is too long! We’ve bought the bags yesterday, so you can say one item is done.

I’m not that much excited! As I said once I’m neutral towards everything! Even toward this shift! I just wana go their & end the 4 years period & return back here!

I haven’t lived out of Amman all my life! How it gonna be! Can I cope toward my homesickness & missing my family! Would I survive & get a life there?

After 9 Months We've Met

2011-11-14T08:37:00.001+02:00

Can’t describe how much I feel happy today, finally we have met after 9 months!

One day they told me that you won’t dream with a dead person until you stop crying and feeling sad about it, on that day, I kept telling myself foolish words such as: “Yay Mariamty is not with me”& “Nanananana I’ll not see Mariamty again”& such … I was duping myself! And it didn’t work!

But yesterday, I remembered how much I was happy during Mariamty illness, and I used to tell people around: that those days are the best I lived, even the nights we spent at KHCC, I was feeling super, peaceful, & glad. Thus I’ve convinced myself that I should be so NOW! What’s up with me! My child is in heaven, at least I granted a child there! She’s feeling happy there, why she needs to be here! There is really better for her … etc of these thoughts, and it was my first time I don’t give a tear or feel that sorrow in my heart when remembering our last hug!

I woke up one hour earlier today, I met Mariamty in my dream, it was a nice dream, she walked towards me, I kissed her, & hold her ... I’ve really missed her … Hamdolela that finally Mariamty visited me, I’ll be waiting her every night

Finally, I’m Excited :)

2011-10-06T07:33:00.000+02:00

Baby! I’ve finally felt your kick! It was last night, when I was going to sleep! They were only two kicks but they were enough to make me happy :) I wonder why now I’ve just felt them!? Is it because of the movie I watched; Final Destination 5, sorry I’ve freaked you out so many times :) I was waiting for those tiny kicks few days ago; as in my last visit to the Dr. you were so active turning upside down, touching your feet, & sleeping on your tummy, on that day my neutral status was changed to excitement, when he told us you are probably a girl, once I’ve heard that a big smile was on my face, I filled in joy, same as your dady, he surprised me how much he was happy … Hamdolela … he also whished you to be as wonderful as your sister Mariamty …

I’m excited now! & I’m in love with your kicks, they let me feel there’s a life inside me! & that our special secret moments have started.

ما حد أخد رأينا بموضوع فلسطين!

2011-09-29T16:19:00.001+03:00

أنا معي هوية فلسطينية و معي كرت أصفر و ما حدا سألني عن رأي بانضمام فلسطين إلى هيئة الأمم المتحدة ؟

يا سيدي بلاش أنا! ناس بعرفهم معهم الكرت الأخضر و برضوا ما حد سألهم عن رأيهم !!! ما عم أقدر أنبسط ع الموضوع زي ما إلي عم يجيبوا ع تلفزيون "نبض الشارع"!!! ما بدي أكون وحدة بايخة و أتمنى يصير في فيتو :) عشان في كتير أشياء أهم من هاي أتمناها لفلسطين و اللآجئين و الوطن العربي ... يعني ... قدامي قائمة طويلة عريضة من الأمنيات و أظن في أخرها هاي! إذا أصلاً موجودة !!! ع فكرة أنا بحب فلسطين

Hamdolela … I’m Pregnant

2011-08-29T12:09:00.001+03:00

I have to declare that I’m pregnant of 3rd month … Hamdolela

I can’t feel it the way I used to in my first pregnancy! I’m so neutral!

I’m usually natural towards life! But here I’m extra neutral!

Pray for Somalia

2011-08-07T08:56:00.000+03:00

I can’t stop thinking of Somalia!

Maybe one of the reasons, I saw a girl who looks like Mariamty in her last days!
The Somalia baby girl was bald, pale, skinny, & with protruding eyes, her mother was trying to let her drink by dots! And the girl wasn’t able to swallow, she was nodding that she doesn’t want anything, and to leave her alone.

Poor Somalia … 29000 kid has died in the last three months.

May Allah send rain clouds there, May Allah help them

We’re Blessed

2011-07-17T11:17:00.000+03:00

It’s been a year since we’ve known that there is a tumor in Mariamty head, I’ll never forget that day, when we were shocked!

It was really long day! Started early morning, when Mariamty has fasted, in order to get anesthetized for the MRI, ended facing so many facts, first that there is something in her head! Second that this thing a big tumor! Then that her case is really hard and dangerous, and finally that the only solution is a very critical operation with minimum rate of success.
We kept running all day! Meeting doctors to know what’s up! or at least let them explain the MRI report, then a miracle happens at the end of day; getting the change to meet a very busy famous Doctor in that same long day!

Although I was in a deep sorrow, but I felt blessed! That Allah has given us a solution in that same day! And Allah allowed us to meet the one who’ll help us out of this.

Latest Trends of Business Projects in Jordan

2011-07-07T11:34:00.008+03:00

In my humble opinion, latest worn projects in Jordan are:
1) Review websites for restaurants
We’ve got three local sites

Keefkan http://www.keefkan.com/

Meal Advisors http://www.mealadvisors.com/

Jeeran http://www.jeeran.com/

2) Electronics shop
We’ve started with Smart Buy, and now we’ve got more, and still more to come

E-Mart

BLINX

Electronic City

If you’re thinking of you having your own business, please enough of these :) and try to initiate and innovate

!الفساد متأصلاً فينا

2011-06-16T10:02:00.001+03:00

حتى عندما نحاول الإصلاح نعيث فساداً

!
أصبحت أشك أن الفساد متأصلاً فينا

!
أو الماء الذي نشربه كل يوم مذابٌ فيها بعض حبات الطمع التي ترسبت في عقولنا محولةً إيّانا إلى شعلة فساد

!
ألم يعد هناك بذرةٌ لم تلوث بعد بمصالحنا الشخصية؟

Allah's Plans for You

2011-05-30T11:52:00.002+03:00

Whatever you plan, Allah has the better best plans for you!

Go back to your life, remember what your dreams were and what has come true, what you thought you’ll fulfill and what you’ve achieved. If you can get the whole picture now, you might know the purpose of all what you’ve faced. Sometimes you might not be able to recognize why this has been done so, and why you haven’t gained that! But you should really & truly trust Allah choices for you.

We’re poor, we can’t predict future however we build possibilities & plans, some might contradict, some might never happen, and some might become a reality.

Inshalla after a week, my little sister is getting married! Her wedding date has been changed so many times. I remember when they have first set two times March & May, she asked me which one I prefer, according to Mariamty condition I absolutely answered March! Clarifying that Mariamty was in a good condition at that time – beginning of 2011, and she might start getting worse during May! So I chose March as it’s near and guaranteed.

When February has started we felt anxious; would everything go Ok until wedding date comes! Would we make it until then! Later, her wedding date was shifted to beginning of May, then to end of May, and inshalla now final date has been set next week; a date we’ve never intended to have! 6/6/2011, nice date! Lots of people try their best to have their wedding on special dates! Any my little sister has got it so easily.

Allah has chosen the best. سبحان الله

Summertime

2011-05-26T14:19:00.000+03:00

Summer starts today :)

My sister is now above Jordan; her flight should arrive soon, can’t wait to finish work, see her and cuddle my first nephew :)

Next week other relatives will arrive, too!

It’s summer time! It’s party time!!!

Our Roommate at KHCC

2011-05-18T14:14:00.003+03:00

Since Mariamty has died, I wanted to reach any of our roommates in KHCC to know their news.

Yesterday, I got a phone call from Um Suhaib, whom we shared the room for more than 20 nights respectively!

Her son died a week ago, he was the most active & talkative kid among others, he’s only three years old, but if you heard what he says, you’ll think he’s a grownup & a man! The way he died is so similar to Mariamty, he has thrown down in less than month with same symptoms!

Anyway! I asked her about others’ news! As I haven’t got the challenge to visit KHCC again! Although I’m longing to! She told me “mostly all those who were with us died! Maybe 2 or 3 are alive! Cancer Harvests lives!” & she named those who died.

On the other hand, on Saturday KHCC celebrated 1000 Pediatric Cancer Survivor, I was really happy with this news! Until I thought deeply about it! 1000 of what total? 1000 since when?

I wish, and pray, that cancer never comes back to these 1000, & no more new cases as well.

P.S. tomorrow marks the 3rd month without Mariamty around! Ah, her birthday was on 13/5!

Two Months

2011-04-20T10:47:00.000+03:00

Two months far away … and still counting

هـــــلْ أراكْ؟ هـــــلْ أراكْ؟

2011-04-14T10:18:00.004+03:00

I’m so much confused, shocked, & depressed .

I know there is corruption, but not that much.

I feel every big sized project in Jordan, corruption has got its biggest portion.
I even think whenever a new project is started, it’s not for our need, but for the interest of those who initiated it, also when an important project is neither introduced nor delivered, it’s because some don’t want it to be alive, since it will reduce their profit!

Those people are in a one gang; they all know and help each other. They are unashamed of what they do! They never get enough money, they always want more, dare more, and fear no more.

It’s not easy for me, and others, to trust anyone else taking their place!

I wonder, will I be alive, until our country becomes clean!

هـــــلْ أراكْ؟ هـــــلْ أراكْ؟ سـالِماً مُـنَـعَّـماً وَ غانِـمَاً مُـكَرَّمَاً

موطني ... موطني

2011-03-29T10:44:00.000+02:00

هل سألت نفسك يوما لماذا قال ابراهيم طوقان "موطني" و ليس "وطني"؟ موطن: كُلُّ مَكَانٍ أَقَامَ بِهِ الإِنْسَانُ

Back to Work

2011-03-22T08:33:00.002+02:00

Back to
work
labor
IT Industry
quality obsession
learn
think
analyze
commitment
early wake ups
drink Nescafe
wait for weekends
count holidays
bank account
monthly salary
money waste

Although it’s a temporary back, a two months contract, but I think they are enough at the meantime.

One Month

2011-03-19T19:11:00.000+02:00

One whole month without you by my side
still I imagine we play seek and hide
I'm trying to live life but I can't enjoy the ride
I ask Allah every moment to be my guide
And to help me sleep without remembering how you died
Also to meet up there where you'll be running toward me with my hands opened wide

Things Feel Their Owners

2011-03-11T13:39:00.001+02:00

I always believe that when a relation is between the horse and its rider, they will always feel each other, and when the rider dies, later the horse will follow! Now I started to believe that one's stuff feels its owner! This really happened with me! Almost all Mariamty's stuff has either been damaged before or after she died!

When I washed Mariamty's clothes before she's left us, my dark blue blouse has been with them! And the result was: all her clothes were changed to either blue or purple! So I have easily abandoned them. There were other clothes waiting to be washed after Mariamty's has left us, and I have recently rinsed and dried them. I was surprised how worn out they looked! Although some of them were new, and other were supposed to be of high quality! Nevertheless, they all looked too stocked and worn! And so I've easily discarded them too.

Even her cups! Looked unclean! And so I've easily put them away!

Finally, I hope so, I was shocked that my car, where Mariamty has always been my buddy there, has also been crashed! And so I'll easily through it away! As it can't be fixed and I hope the insurance company will pay me at least 70% of its cost.

So let's get back to the main topic, things feel their owners, they can't stay without owners, they need a life with them, so give away what you don't need to those whose in need, memories will stay in mind longer than in things.

Mariamty can Fly

2011-02-21T10:06:00.002+02:00

Hamdolela ...
Mariam is happier now,
she's in a better place,
she's felling no pain,
she can move and even fly,
she's in heaven now ...

19/2/2010 sat.
3:20 am.

What’s Going in Her Mind? part 1

2011-02-18T08:57:00.005+02:00

I wonder what does Mariamty think every day about moving and crawling?

“I wana crawl after mom, why can’t I?
hmmm seems I forgot the first step! Let’s try ...
Why I can’t hold myself straight? What’s up with my arms! Can’t they carry me! My mom keeps telling that I’m thinner now, so my hands suppose to easily do that! Maybe I used to start with my legs?
Ok I’ll start over again; ooops didn’t I want to move my leg! It seems too heavy!”

It’s been long time since Mariamty has crawled! Maybe two weeks or more! Now she barely moves her legs!

Finally Youth Did It

2011-02-06T09:43:00.003+02:00

Finally, youth has proofed that they shouldn’t be considered silly, helpless, powerless, & without goals.

During the last 28 years I lived :) I used to hear these sentences:

Terrible youth شباب صايعين
They won’t ever do something good عمره ما حيطلع منه إشي
They imitate without thinking بس بقلد بدون ما يفكر
Worthless and nugatory عطّال بطّال
When we were younger we did so … & so … & so وإحنا قدك كنا ... و كنا... وكنا
Quds will never set free by them قال بدها تتحرر القدس ... كيف والشباب هيك
... etc

Youth were able, for the first time lets say, to speak loudly fearing nobody. And they were creative in this; simple person has said what he feels loudly and straightforward, those who write has expressed their thoughts in all available ways, whether internet was there or not, even those who sing has relief their feelings spontaneously in amazing techniques.

They’ve turned their words into actions, even though they used to spend long times in cafes or doing nothing, but when they were needed, they didn’t fed up, give up, felt tired, or missed their times setting in the café doing nothing.

Maybe they are still imitating wrong or unsuitable things from west, but some of them are coping useful things, or reproducing what can’t be duplicated.

Arabs woke up from their endless sleep, and we’ll never hear that sentence again; “Arabs are in a deep sleep” or “When will Arabs wake up”. We might sleep again, but we’ll be dreaming of something else, another hope, a new goal, & further wishes. Tunisian and Egyptians inshalla will accomplish the impossible mission, which all generations have dreamt of.

Parents and grandparents role can’t be denied for sure, they’ve got the largest part in all of this, by their raising, their experience, and their individual sharing.

Finally, we’ll have a nice history to tell our children, filled with dignity, honor, & glory.

It Seems Far Away ...

2011-01-27T09:04:00.000+02:00

Inshalla inshalla inshalla it seems far away!
Yesterday also I’ve seen a cute baby we used to meet him when we sleep at KHCC, he’s older now; 6 months old! He’s has transferred to Palliative Care, too. He was tired, he was born blind, along with chemo cycles, tumor size has increased which has affected lots of nerves;
he won’t walk,
he can’t concentrate,
he faces difficulty in swallowing,
he might have hearing loss,
in addition of pain,
and spasms every while and then.

I was speechless while his mother is telling me this, I felt that I’m spoiled and doesn’t appreciate what I have!

We should always meet people who are worse case than ours, in order to gain satisfaction and then happiness.

You're my Sunshine

2011-01-26T14:23:00.003+02:00

Today, while kissing Mariamty, I've noticed a small head swelling at the right side!
I hugged her, and cried silently, I didn't want her to see my tears, cos she won't allow me to carry her or even touch her, it seems I look ugly and scary when I cry!

I hate when I feel this, or say this: it seems soon!!!
Why soon! Cos beside her daily headache, when night comes, she puts her head on my chest, and she turns off, as if she's out of electricity, then she starts vomiting for hours!

Hamdolela, when morning comes, she's full of energy, joy, fun, & hunger!

I wait for daylight, as I always loved the sunshine …

Mariamty … you're my daylight, you're my sunshine …

تونس و فلسطين

2011-01-25T13:58:00.003+02:00

حبيت هذا التعليق بالنسبة لثورة تونس

شاب تونسي يقول: "بما إنه الجامعات معطلة و المحلات مسكرة و قاعدين قاعدين، خلينا نروح نحرر فلسطين" أنا أقول: يا ريت ... و نخلص من الفضائح

!!!

Dreams ...

2011-01-22T16:02:00.002+02:00

Dreams ...

Life is much happier with them ...

I don't wannt to envy myself towards this grace, I feel fresh and active when I come back from my dream ...

In my dreams I've traveled to two cities in south africa as i think, also I went to Lebanon, and yesterday I was in Turkey.

Hamdolela ... this small dream really does change my mood, and makes my day ...

Love Life

2011-01-10T10:18:00.002+02:00

They want to live …
They try hard …
They do their best to survive …
They love life, that’s why they succeed …

Waiting for the Spring

2011-01-09T08:51:00.003+02:00

Waiting for the spring ...

Wish to Walk

2011-01-05T09:55:00.004+02:00

I have a wish for this year; to see you running towards me with a real smile on your face, hamdolela the first part has started; finally courageously you’ve started walking without a hand. exactly: 3/1/2010 @ 5:30

Rare, too!

2011-01-02T17:42:00.003+02:00

It's for Mariamty, I liked the dress's brand name :) 

My girl is rare, too!  

Did the one who bought this gift mean it?

2010

2010-12-31T09:32:00.002+02:00

I do feel, and think, that a year carries similar stories for you!

I remembered how year 2007 was a Farewell year.

About 2010, it deserves to be called “Cancer Year”:

Mariamty, my girl, has got ATRT in her head

My aunt has got breast cancer, she’s done three surgeries, and with everyone she did they told her “oops, we should have removed more!”, Hamdolela that the last surgery was a successful one

My cousin’s husband got a cancer

A 3 years old girl, from the expanded family, has got cancer in her both eyes

I think that’s enough for listing! I wish all cancer patients will cure, and they won’t see it again in their whole life.

What's Next!

2010-12-29T09:14:00.004+02:00

So …

… so

… so …

I have nothing to write!

In brief & as the Dr. told me:

1st problem: MRI shows that the left tumor was reduced its size to 50%, this will prevent us from moving to the second stage; Bone Marrow Transplant.

2nd problem: Spinal Cord Fluid has got atypical cells; which came from her brain tumor, no more chemotherapy, and she’ll be transferred to Palliative Care.

Hamdolela that I've said 'Hamdolela' as soon as I heard the news.

My Birthday Gift

2010-12-19T14:29:00.004+02:00

They asked me what I want, today, for my birthday, I answered:

I wana have that plant which exists in fairy tales, which cures diseases but it’s hard to get, you had to cross the sea, the mountain, the jungle to get it.

I’m ready to swim in the Pacific Ocean, I’m fast and I like swimming.

I can climb Mount Everest, I didn’t try it before, but it’s on my ‘to try list’.

Ok, I fear of cockroach, but when I have to face a Lion or a tiger, I’ll try to use my mind to win the battle.

Then I’ll reach that plant which includes the medicine for every illness, and run fast home, and give it to my child …

Question: Why in stories the one who does all that is not one of the parents?I think they are the only ones ready to do all that.

Can’t this plant exist?! Can’t sacrificing lives returns what we love, I hate fairy tale stories, they are neither real nor true.

Inshalla Allah will grant me the good news tomorrow, & this will be the gift.

Waiting for that Day

2010-12-10T08:16:00.001+02:00

I don’t think I’ll sleep that night, but I’ll try to let Mariamty sleep as much as she can, how could I convince her not to drink milk and to fast!

I wonder how I’ll be driving to KHCC that day, would I run with Mariamty on my side!

Minutes will turn to hours, I’ll be praying while Mariamty is inside the MRI.

Inshalla on 20/12/2010 Mariamty will have an MRI, inshalla the doctor will tell us there’s no tumor left, and her body is clean.

I’m counting the days, 9 days left and inshalla we’ll hear the good news.

Can’t wait …

We'll Miss you Grandma

2010-11-20T10:10:00.003+02:00

So sad to see you leaving our world, our city, our homes, our family, & us. Inshalla you'll be in a better place, & with those you love.

So bad we need you in our times, our days, our gatherings, our outings, our lunches, & here. Inshalla we'll all meet in paradise, and stay there forever.

So mad you won't be in our tradition, our habits, our reality, our present, our future, & now. Your presence is precious and irreplaceable; I wonder how it'll all be without you.

So glade you were part of our childhood, our memories, our years, our life, & me. Can't stop remembering how you used to add joy and fun to our living.

Grandma we'll miss your caring eyes, your only perfume, your talks, your stories, your jokes, your company, your smile, we'll miss you around.

Life gonna change after you have passed away! Your home gonna be empty! Our day gonna be bare! We'll miss you being in today & tomorrow.

يا رب تشتي... وأروح عند ستي
تعملي فطير ... قد الحصير
أكلها و أنام ... و صبح جوعان

ما عاد في ستي، و شكلها ما حتشتي

16/11/2010

Shopping @ Nafaq

2010-11-09T18:02:00.005+02:00

When you ~~live~~ stay at KHCC (King Hussein Cancer Center) for long time, actions that make you happy or let’s say change your mood have got a different meaning!

These make me happy there:

When Doctor tells us: you can go home

When Mariamty is playing

Lunch or dinner arrives and it’s delicious

Chatting with talkative children

Having our bed near the window

Shopping at "Nafaq" *

* Shopping at "Nafaq" (Pedestrian tunnel) which is near KHCC is like shopping at Wakalat Street :)

Women at KHCC made me excited about it! They’ve bought everything from there; kettle, candies, sandwiches, slippers, & hot drinks. They talk about it as if they are talking about a mall, and so as soon as I got the chance to go there I did. It was crowded, shops were too stacked, all you need was in one place. Awesome!

Although it’s a silly outing, but I’ve really enjoyed it, it’s the only outlet patient’s mothers have got.

Here’s a picture of it

Sorry for being Boring

2010-10-31T14:10:00.002+02:00

In the morning I call mom, I tell her how’s Mariamty, and stories of other patients; their ages, since when they’ve started the therapy, how did they discovered cancer, where is it, when will they finish their cure, does they have other brothers or sisters, & so on.

At noon, my sister calls, I tell her how’s Mariamty, and stories of other patients; their ages, since when they’ve started the therapy, how did they discovered cancer, where is it, when will they finish their cure, does they have other brothers or sisters, & so on.

In the afternoon, I visit other patients, I tell them how’s Mariamty, and stories of other patients; their ages, since when they’ve started the therapy, how did they discovered cancer, where is it, when will they finish their cure, does they have other brothers or sisters, & so on.

At night, when Mhmdy comes after work, I tell him how’s Mariamty, and stories of other patients; their ages, since when they’ve started the therapy, how did they discovered cancer, where is it, when will they finish their cure, does they have other brothers or sisters, & so on.

Next day, in the morning I call mom, I tell her how’s Mariamty, and stories of other patients … etc.

I think I’ve turned to a boring person; the only thing I chat about is in that area. It’s the only subject I’m good at, beside the weather :)

Also, my blog is having a new theme with the same titles.

I can’t imagine next year! What my chitchats will be? Will I have miscellaneous topics!

بعد جرعة الكيماوي الثانية

2010-10-31T11:54:00.004+02:00

كُتبت بعد جرعة الكيماوي الثانية

نبض مريمتي سريعٌ جداً، هذا بعد ثاني جرعة، سبحان الله ذاك الجسد الصغير بالعمر و الحجم،واللذي لم يتعلم الكثير بعد تراه يعمل كما يعمل جسم الكهل الللذي أثقلته خبرته بالحياة. لا شك بأن جسمها مضطرب ويحاول السيطرة على ما دخل عليه من مادة كريهة، يقاومها، يحاول محاربتها و زجها خارجاً، جميع الأعضاء متأهبة ولذلك قلبها ينبض بسرعة لشدة الضغط والعمل

آه يا بضعةً منا، ما أقسانا، كيف قبلنا بذلك السم أن يطعنك فيضعفك ويتعبك. لكن يا أغلى ما لدينا ليس هناك حلاً آخر، نحن نحبك ونريدك معنا ما بقي من أعمارنا

بعد بضعة أيام سيتغلب السم على دمك، مناعتك، وقوتك، لكن بإذن الله كما قويت بعد أول جرعة ستصبحين أفضل و سيكون الخاسر الوحيد بهذه المعركة السرطان

New Ad of JRTV

2010-10-11T17:29:00.002+02:00

When I first watched it I thought it’s an ad about private school, or dairy products, then it turned to be about Jordan TV channel. I felt so because it doesn’t match us (Jordan and Jordanians).

First, a girl wearing a short dress walking by the sea; I pet if you went to our public beaches would you see such a girl!

Then, tidy students appear singing; come on our public uniform is not that modern! It’s blue, green, or beige, ok Ministry of Education is discussing to change it! But this will need years to be into action.

Finally, a mom holding a blond baby! Is the majority of our society blond?

That ad could be to a private channel but not to our channel. It could be more Jordanian; by adding the scent of Jordan, familiar scenes, & some tiny details that make us special!

After Mariamty's Surgery

2010-10-01T08:00:00.004+02:00

Part of my dairies during the week of Mariamty’s surgery:

25/7/2010:
During the surgery: “We haven’t been apart for that long! 9 hours praying to see you alive.”

After the surgery: “Hamdolela you are alive! You had a craniotomy today. They’ve removed the tumor; your surgery was 9 hours long! With 20% to success! I can’t believe we’re done! Welcome back my sweetheart! Can’t hold your tight, you are in a web of wires!”

26/7/2010:
I slept at home without you!
“Morning without you around is as morning without sunrise! My mind slept near you, and I slept out of tired.”

29/7/2010:
“Well, it’s not the smile which I want, but I’m glad to see it”

“We already knew that it’s a cancer, but today it was certain, and it’s not of any kind! You’ve got a high mark in it! You like to be on top of everything! Grade 4 and it’s the most aggressive kind; ATRT. Now lets focus on you! You should play back & we should hear your laugh.”

30/7/2010:
“I want it too; your special hug for Hamdoudeh”
Hamoudeh, my brother, is the only one who gets a welcome hug from Mariam once they meet!

31/7/2010:
“Thankful to Allah, you are back to food and toys”

يوم لقائك

2010-09-29T15:28:00.004+02:00

يوم العملية: 25\7\2010

ابنتي... لم أشأ أن أسلمك إلى طبيب التخدير، لكن علي فعل ذلك حتى نكمل الحياة سويةً، اجتثك من بين ذراعي وبدأتِ بالبكاء ثم غنى لك وهو يبتعد عنا:"مريم يا مريم ليش عم تبكي" إلى أن عمّ الصمت واختفيتي عن عيني. وتبللت عيناي، ورحت أبحث عن عينٌ تدمع معي إلى أن وجدت أباك وأمي، احتضنتهم كأنهم أنت

كانت هذه أول مرة أبتعد عنك لمدةٍ طـويلــــــــــــــــــة! 9 ساعات من الدعاء بأن أراك على قيد الحياة

انتظرتك عند المصعد، وتهيأت إلى لقائك عندما قارب على الوصول، وفتح الباب، فإذا أنا أراك،وأسمع بكاءك،وألامسك، إنك معنا، إنك معنا من جديد

يالله يا كريم، احمدك حمدا كثيرا مباركا ملء السماوات و ملء الأرض، نسبة نجاح العملية 20% و انت اخترتنا لنكون منها. دعوتك يا الله بأن ترضيني بما كتبته لنا، ولقد استجبت، فعندما أبلغنا الطبيب بأن الورم خبيث، رضيت، حمدتك، ولم أعترض. قررت بأن لا أفكر بغدٍ والغيب، علي بالآن، مريم طيبة و أريد أن أكون معها، هذا أقصى منايا حينها

Cancer in My Little Girl

2010-09-29T07:42:00.005+02:00

From now on, I think my blog will be concentrated on a new subject, I’m afraid all my talks will be about the new turn point in my life, but it’s useful to share such an experience.

Cancer has attacked my little girl! Actually it’s not an attack! She’s got it since she was in my tummy, but hasn’t been discovered until lately! It’s all started as a joke! Whenever Mariamty wants to cry or laugh she looks like giving a wink, we kept laughing whenever she does so, then we discovered that it’s not intended, we went to her Dr. and got our first shock, that she’s got a Left Facial Palsy, we gave her medication but without any improvement, then she began to tend her neck, again we thought it’s another joke from her and with hesitation we told the Dr about it, and so he asked for an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) where we have found out a tumor in her head!

A very accurate long surgery has clarified that this tumor is malignant. We’ve done two cycles of chemo, and three more left.

Days are extensive enough to make me feel as if a year has passed. I would like to shift to 2011; when I will be with my little girl walking by the trees, and smiling to the camera, with nothing in my mind.

Smile Back

2010-08-25T18:45:00.001+03:00

All I need is my daughter’s smile back …

She smiles but not the way it should be, I want her both eyes to squeeze, and her mouth to say cheese.

Oh Lord, make this as fast as possible!

1 Year & Half

2010-05-31T00:13:00.002+03:00

1 year & half, for leaving work, and still I’m using the word “we” when talking about the company I used to work with.

1 year & half, for staying home, and still thinking whether what I did was right or hasty decision.

1 year & half, was going to be full of more experience, more money, more fun!

I don’t know why, recently, I’m thinking so much about my ex-work. I'm really missing it.

What are they building!!!

2009-12-30T15:27:00.003+02:00

What are they building!!!?

Instead of Me

2009-12-20T14:56:00.001+02:00

My 27th birthday had a new sense; it has never been so in the past years! On 19/12/2009 I was backward in time when I gave birth to Mariam, followed by replacing the characters with my mom & me; I imagined how mom has delivered me!

First thing I did when I woke up is telling mom how happy am I for her good health and Congratulations for her baby which is me!“Hamdolela 3ala salamtek, w mabrook ma ejake!” with a very nice flowers’ bouquet .

I shouldn’t celebrate me in this day; Instead I should celebrate mom, the one who got tired on that day, and who was the happiest one on earth to see me in her arms.

Happy birthday mom on my birthday, wish you all the best in this year :)

Near Iraq Al Amir

2009-10-12T17:36:00.005+02:00

I’m in love with this place!

I was there yesterday and the previous week!
I can’t believe it has taken 26 years to discover it :)
Water, trees, and table are all you need for a great lunch!
Even Mariam has enjoyed, she has kept staring at the running water and the moving leaves of the old trees.
Amman is really full of unknown places, such as “Estera7et Al Yanabee3” at Boussa near Iraq Al Amir.

It’s so humble but amazing.

P.S. Bring your slippers when you go there!

Escaping from Ameba!

2009-06-06T19:53:00.002+03:00

How it dares to be inside you!
How it dares to fight your body!
How it dares to cause you pain!
How it dares!

Was it because of my fingers?
Was it because of my shirt?
Was it because of the bath?
Was it because of your tinny thumb?

Oh my little girl, I'm really sorry, I'm sure it's my fault in a way or another!
Oh Mariam, I know it hurts!

Mariam has got an Ameba :( even babies can't escape from Ameba in Amman!

Inshalla you'll get well soon.

Welcome Mariam

2009-05-25T19:57:00.003+03:00

She's between my arms now!
She's in touch with me …
She's a real …

She's not a dream any more …

She's my daughter ...
She stares at me,
I think she knows me …
She listens carefully to me,
I think my voice reminds her when she was inside …
Oh, she surrounds her petit fingers around my huge index …
I have to go, I really miss her …

Hamdolela on having you ...

Welcome to life Mariam
13/5/2009 8:50 PM

Waiting You

2009-04-14T10:27:00.001+03:00

Days are running so fast, and inshalla soon you'll be between my arms :)

Do you know something! I will miss you being inside, I’ll miss your kicks and other movements that I still wonder what were they!

Soon we'll be TWO, not ONE any more, soon we'll be separated once the physical connection is cut. But what I wish is not to cut our emotional one. I want to be more than a mom for you, I want to be your lover, your sister, your friend, and inshalla we'll enjoy our life together :)

Looking forward holding you.

with love,

rare

أنفاقنا و أنفاقهم

2009-03-02T18:42:00.003+02:00

ما الفرق بين أنفاقنا و أنفاقهم؟
أليست كلها أنفاق!

لماذا أنفاقنا ينقّب عليها و من ثم تُدّمر، وأنفاقهم ما زال البناء جاريا فيها.
لماذا أنفاقنا سرية ليس لهل شرعية، بينما أنفاقهم علنية وليست جريمة.
أنفاقنا هي الروح و الفخر و الحياة على الأرض،
أنفاقهم هي وهم وذل و مخطط تحت الأرض.

أنفاقنا مبنية على الحق، أنفاقنا حقيقة الحياة ... في غزة.
أنفاقهم مبنية على باطل، أنفاقهم وهم مزعوم ... تحت القدس.
أنفاقنا رمز التحدي، و صراع الإغاثة. في بنائها فن العمار و سر البقاء،
أنفاقهم رمز الخوف، و إثبات الوجود. في بنائها نيّة الدمار و سلاح الجبناء.

كم من منفق يساعد أنفاقنا على أن تستمر في العطاء؟ لا أحد.
كم من منافق يقوّي أنفاقهم على الانتشار؟ كُثر.

لا نريد تهديم أنفاقهم، فذلك يعني انهيار ما فوقها، ما نريد هو إيقاف توغلها.
لا نريد تفجير أنفاقنا، فذلك يعني منع وصول أساسيات الحياة، ما نريد هو رفعها من تحت الأرض إلى فوقها.

ما الفرق بين أنفاقنا وأنفاقهم؟
لماذا أنفاقهم لا أنفاقنا؟

Cute Baby Girl

2009-02-06T11:55:00.000+02:00

You are a little cute girl :) that's what the Dr. has told us after doing the 4D!
Hamdolela :) I'll gonna have a girl to grow with and to be my friend!
As for your name "Mariam" is the winner until now!
Your father is happy too, we are waiting you :)

Feeling the First Kick!

2009-02-06T11:45:00.000+02:00

Your first move was on 31/12/2008; my last working day!

I came home, without dropping any single tear in the office, saying good bye for all, and imagining I'll never be back as an employee this was really hard, but I did it, and I have held my breathe with my tears.

I reached home, and act normally as if nothing has happened; I don't wana think about t it! Then suddenly I started crying loudly, and I started losing my breathe away – actually from my first pregnancy day I used to have a loose in my breathe when acting with energy. I felt I was going to die, I have even said "el shahadaten" :)
Then Mhmdy calm me down, and I started to feel ok.

After all this, I have felt someone inside me kicking, as if telling me "Mammy, are you ok?", "Mammy I'm here". I've moved to cloud number 9, it was your first move my baby!

Tomato from a Fight

2009-02-06T11:16:00.002+02:00

What a strange tomato! As if it was in a fight and the result was this!

Soon ... Unemployed!

2008-12-08T09:21:00.002+02:00

I haven't thought I will have the full courage to do it!
Anyway it’s done now!
I have quitted!
Yes I did!

Why!!!

This is what I wanted to do long time ago, I’ve got enough stress, tension, and exhaustion, beside feeling bored toward it.

I need time to organize my life, before having our new member in the family :)
I need to stop running! I need to act in somehow slow emotion.
I need to take care of my better half, my new home, and myself!
I wanna have more time for Allah, I want to go back for memorizing Quran.
I wanna start a new social morning life.

What I wish, is not to feel sorry or regretful about it .

Inshalla this will be on action at the beginning of next year.
1/1/2009 I will be officially unemployed! After 3 years and 9 month in service .

Confession:
I will really miss that routine!

3 Feelings Today!

2008-11-11T11:14:00.000+02:00

Sad
Shocked
Afraid

I've got them all today!

Within

2008-11-05T14:29:00.000+02:00

I can hear your beat,
it's within me ...

I can feel you sharing my life,
every details within ...

I can see you growing,
even if you are within ...

You're living inside me,
inside my brain, heart, and within ...

Back vs. Back

2008-10-16T13:28:00.001+02:00

hehehe
back to double responsibilities!
:-#

Back to Irresponsibility

2008-09-15T08:49:00.001+03:00

I'm now at my parents' home, I'm back to my room, I'm back to my family, I'm back to their gathering and routine, I'm back to the irresponsible life :)

I have really missed those days,
but what I miss more, is you Mhmdy...

Counting the days till you are back from Dubai...

A Year ...

2008-08-16T14:53:00.002+03:00

A year, living with you, has shown me how much you love me, and how much I do.
I thank Allah everyday for having you in my life.

Thanks for the surprise; the slide show of our best pictures taken in honeymoon and others had dropped my tears over, I didn't imagine I'll be having such a romantic gift in our anniversary.

Thanks Mhmdy.

Thanks Mahmoud & Aya for giving us a small time of your wedding.

Thanks Samah for the arrangements, we should call you Mrs. Surprise :)

محمود درويش ... في ذمة الله

2008-08-10T08:54:00.001+03:00

أحن إلى خبز أمي
وقهوة أمي
ولمسةِ أمي

محمود درويش ... في ذمة الله

Bakdash

2008-08-08T13:19:00.003+03:00

Best ice cream in Syria, and Arab world!

It became a trademark; people use the word Bakdash to refer to white/Arabic ice cream.

It's delicious as the picture shows; I like how Bakdash is engraved in the Syrian way of life, it's a Syrian tale that will never end.

Bakdash is engraved on the spoon :) I liked this

2 BBQs

2008-08-03T14:22:00.008+03:00

Although it was 35°C, but I didn’t feel the hot weather, wind was blowing every now and then.

I had two BBQ lunches that Friday 1/8/2008, one with my better half family as Aqeeqah – sacrifice for a new born baby – Rayan. The second one with my entire dad’s family. I wonder what I will do this Friday; things come together, while other days you don’t have anything to do.

I’ve taken a picture of a nice flower! Guess what it is?!

Can you believe it is Bamyeh – Okra!

When the second lunch came to an end, my better half has joined us, I was happy; it’s been a while since we have both shared such gathering. We’ve played Tarneeb – Tricks, we won although it was my first time to try it.

Dudeh

2008-06-17T14:18:00.003+03:00

He is too shy, that his face disappears when people are staring at him.

He is too stubborn, he never says sorry, even when he is wrong.

He has his own words, which i started to use them in my daily life.

He has a warm heart, he asks about me every while and then, he beg me to stay with him all day, he saves my part in his candies

He misses me, he loves me, and he likes to see me.

I call him dudeh, and he answers me :)

He's my little brother Hamoudeh, 3.5 years old

*He’ll be a professional photographer; this shot was taken by him :)

2008-05-15T08:58:00.006+03:00

Passport Renewal

2008-04-14T10:51:00.002+03:00

On Thursday I’ve taken the opportunity that I’m day off, to renewal my passport. My file was in West Bank Passports Office as I follow my dad who was born in Nablus, but now it was handed down to the main department in Jabal Amman, as I follow Mhmdy – my better half.

I was surprised how easy and fast that was, I picket a ticket, and then waited my number to be called, employees were friendly, and their screens were LCDs! The whole process didn’t exceed half an hour!

My biggest dazzle was when I’ve got this sms on my mobile:“لقد أصبح جواز سفرك جاهزا للاستلام، يرجى مراجعة شباك الاستلام خلال 15 دقيقة”
Which means that my passport is ready, and I should get it during 15 minutes!!!

I smiled, I liked the idea, I’m feeling the e-Government :)

Would this be done if my passport was still in West Bank Passports Office?

تويكس ... لواحد مش لاتنين

2008-03-25T09:38:00.002+02:00

تويكس ... لواحد مش لاتنين
هذه المقولة صحيحة في الجو الحار، فالتوكس التي كنت قد اشتريتها بدت لشخصٍ واحد
:)

Prove It!!!

2008-02-28T09:07:00.001+02:00

Do you love saydna Mohammad sala Allaho alayeh wa salam?
Then prove it!!!

When you love someone, you'll act the way he/she does,
you'll do your best to see him/her happy.

To love saydna Mohammad sala Allaho alayh wa salam, you should follow his sunneh, in all your life & acts, starting from the morning saysings, to the way you drink a glass of water, to your manner with others, ..., ending with the way you sleep.

Helpless

2008-01-21T08:00:00.000+02:00

The worst feeling on earth is to feel helpless toward someone you care!

When you see your friend who has lost someone and you can't find the words/actions that make your friend feel better!

When you see someone dear in a big trouble, and your words/actions fail to help him!

When you see your valuable thing has been stolen in front t of your eyes, and your words/actions will not get it back!!

When you see Gaza under siege, without electricity, without light, without food, without any important essential that you don't call it luxury, and you can't do anything directly to them!!!!

What will you do?

I was thinking all the night what can I do?Simply one great thing: it is praying to Gaza/Palestine, and to your friend, to your someone dear, pray with your heart!

That's all I've got to them!

2007

2008-01-08T08:02:00.000+02:00

Oops its a new year!
I totally forgot! Cos days run in a way you can't keep tracking the date!
I wonder how these 12 months will end! Will I accomplish all my goals of this year!

About 2007, it deserves to be called "Farewell year";

Grandfather, mother in low, greataunt have passed away!
Nura & Batool - my best friends - are abroad now, and will stay there for more than a year!
I have left my home, my room, & my family to share my life with my best half!
Lots of people with footprints in my life have moved away from here!

I've only seen 2007 from that point of view, I'm sure it was full of treasured moments & once in a lifetime events.

Away with My Love

2007-11-22T12:49:00.000+02:00

rare, do u remember that lagauge that was well packed before a month from your journey!

Yes the one for your honeymoon!

Yippee, you'll pack it again!

Hamdolela, finally a vacation for Mhmdy & me both!Both is underlined!

I don't wana think about anything, I'll forgot totaly who I am, where I was, even what's my name, I don't need any of these there!

I only need my love!

Restart Waiting

2007-11-03T13:08:00.000+02:00

I was waiting the day where Mhmdy’s – my better half - day off will be in my weekend!

Every month he has same week day as off, next month it is transferred to next week day;
on October his day off was every Tuesday, on November his day off was going to be every Wednesday! So soon he was going to have his off with my off! I have set my plans on our off, since I'm waiting this since summer!

But!
I have to change all my plans! & Wait more!
His off was shifted to Sunday! & so he has to pass through all the week days to reach Friday!

Oh I have to restart waiting!
I have to wait for the spring to spring our souls!

Blessed

2007-09-20T14:26:00.000+02:00

I wanna be blessed

Mrs. Perfect

2007-09-12T08:05:00.000+03:00

Mrs Easy! That’s what I call her, while others call her Mrs. Perfect!
She turns everything in life to few easy steps,
she colors troubles,
and she pictures daily duties as parties!

I tried to be as her, but those few under-control easy steps turned to many out of control extra hard stairs!

I’m an easy going person! But life is full with out of hand situations that prevents me from exceeding what I want successfully!

In order to be surrounded with good circumstances, I think I should pray sincerely! Cos there is nothing called “lucky”, but there is something called “blessed”!

I should look back to my relationship with Allah, my parents, and people around me! I should make it tight! Then I’ll wait my turn to be called “Mrs. Perfect”.

I'm back :S

2007-08-21T09:04:00.000+03:00

I don't know why I have said in the previous post "brb"!
I'm back now, it hasn't taken so much!

Actually my mother in law has passed away after two days of my wedding!
It was a shock! Although she was fighting cancer at the ICU during her last days.

Allah has chosen the best for her, & for us! Maybe it's not clear at the moment how it is the best! But days will show us! I hope this has made me a better wife! I've standed by my husband from the first days of our life together!

This is life, you can't get everything forever, & whatever you plan, it's not necessary to be applied successfully!

Mhmdy is getting better by days, I'm sure he'll be the strongest in order to help his sister & brother whom they live here.

We've canceled the honeymoon! & shortened our vacation! Inshalla Allah will give us something better soon!

I really loved my mother in law, I can't get that she'll not be a part of our coming life!

My Day

2007-08-13T20:48:00.000+03:00

So! It’s tomorrow!
Can't believe it! Can't feel it!
Tomorrow is my wedding day! It's not my friend's, it's not my cousin's! It's MINE!
I don't know why I can't get it!

I'm feeling it is Eid day, maybe because I go shopping all the time!
I'm feeling it is a party that I should attend, maybe because I've got a dress!
Anyway I'm sure I'll get it when I hear the cars noises getting closer & closer!

As for that long list, you can say it is almost done; still there are many other luxuries things that I wish to have, but neither time nor money serve it!

I should go now; our home is full with my aunts & uncles who came from Palestine, to be near me in my day as they say! Again it's my day! MY DAY rare, can u get it!
Brb; about two weeks : )

Pleas give me prayers ….

Fed Up

2007-07-18T15:55:00.000+03:00

That is ENOUGH ...

either FREEZE or SKIP ...

I dont wana stay where/when I am ...

I Should Run

2007-07-04T10:35:00.000+03:00

I've decided to run!
I've got no time!
Our house needs too many elementary things;
I’ve mentioned house instead of home, cos still I can't feel it like home, which is another story!
The problem about accomplishing is that Mhmdy - my fiancé- & I leave work late, & until we're back & rest a while! All shops will be closed!

So I decided to move alone quickly!
Since sometimes I finish earlier than him with two hours!

I've listed all the WANTED items! OMG it's too long!
I’ve prioritized them
On my Agenda, I’ve assigned everyday some items that could be done at once
Deadline of this mission is end of July!
Everyday I should tick executed tasks,
executed task should equal assigned tasks!

Wedding day is too soon! I should RUN!

Magnificent Mosques

2007-05-28T08:32:00.000+03:00

Yesterday, I prayed at two magnificent mosques of Amman:

Hussain Mosque
Al Hadi Mosque

Both are realy masterpieces, I'm sure there is more, but hidden somewhere :)

Thanks for the tour Mhmdy :)

بعد 59 عام على النكبة

2007-05-15T08:15:00.000+03:00

اليوم يبكي ما تبقى من الوطن على أبنائه...

بالأمس بكينا على ما فقدنا من أرضنا
و اليوم نبكي على ما يجري بين إخوتنا في أرضنا
فهل عسانا نضحك غدا ً!!!

Short Stories of Ghassan Kanafani

2007-04-09T08:23:00.000+03:00

Recently I have finished all short stories written by Ghassan Kanafani, the Palestinian writer who was assassinated by Mossad.

All his short stories are really great, especially those which shed your tears at the end, here are my favorites:-

Al Rajol Alathe Lam Yamot (The Man Who Didn’t Died)
Aktaf Al Akhareen (Others’ Shoulders)
Al Selaah Al Moharaam (Illicit Weapons )
Thalath Awraq mn Felsten (Three Letters from Palestine)

Waraqa mn Al Ramleh ( Letter from Ramleh)

Waraqa mn al Teera ( Letter from Teera)

Waraqa mn Gaza ( Letter from Gaza); my favorite among letters

Law Kont Hesanan (If you were a horse)
Ard Burtuqal Al Hazin (The Land of Sad Oranges)
Ela An Naoood (Until We Return)
Qarar Mowjaz (Brief Decision)

Action Items:
Buy Novels of Ghassan Kanafani & read them!

I've Found My Better Half

2007-03-22T10:50:00.000+02:00

Tom! Yes tom! It’s gonna be a very long day! & it should be a day that I'll never forget!

Between "I’ll miss you more being with me in that day", that day is tom!

It’ll be the day when I’m announced to be plighted! In both meanings :) actually it’s not an easy thing;

I’ll sign on a totally new life,
I’ll sign on leaving my home and my life,
I'll sign on getting new home and new life,
I’ll sign on sharing,
I’ll sign on new responsibilities,
I’ll sign on being mature,
I’ll sign on being a wife, wow big word!
I’ll sign on having my own family!
I'll sign on standing by my better half through good times and hard times
... etc

And then I'll stop using my mind, & let my heart starts beating!

Please give me a prayer!

I think I should get cracking, I have loads to do.

One of the Greatest Men in My Life

2007-03-07T13:47:00.000+02:00

So…
Yesterday was my last time talking to you!
Yesterday was my last time touching you!
Yesterday was my last time I hear you breathing!
Yesterday was my last time I see you alive!

Now…I’ve got memories of you spread everywhere; your home, my home, our home!
Specially photos of you; your loved having snapshots whenever & wherever it’s possible!

I loved the way you lived;
how you treat us,
how you love grandma, & lived all your life beside her!
How you like to see grandma happy!
How you always take a good care of yourself!
How you feel strong & healthy, that you can do your shopping, go to work, & live your life without any help!
How you like having fun!
How your talks are always related to Palestine!
How you smile, how you laugh, how you remember every single detail about us!
… etc

I’ll miss you,
& I’ll miss you more being with me in that day!

Grandpa you’re my ideal!

3/3/2007 Grandpa has passed away

Bulldozers Should Wake You Up!

2007-02-06T13:17:00.000+02:00

I know its cold, & u r nodded off since ages! But I think its time to wake up! Or at least open your eyes & hear what’s happening around! I'm not asking for move! All I’m asking is to show your objection! At least by your heart; which is the feeblest faith!

Bulldozers started demolishing a bridge, two rooms, and a hill connecting the Buraq (wailing) Wall with Aqsa Mosque! “Aqsa” do you still remember it? The one located in Palestine, if you still remember it too!

Anyway! "ROBA DORATEN NAFEAA" who knows! This might stop bloodshed! & reinforce national unity!
Least thing to do! Let’s pray!

israeli vs. Palestinian

2007-01-23T16:23:00.000+02:00

I felt I must share this with everyone, very important fact, that we know, but others don’t!

Below are charts of nine little-known statistics.
Statistics Last Updated: January 3, 2007
Since: September 29, 2000

P.S. I liked the sentence mentioned at the bottom of http://ifamericansknew.org website; “This website is printer-friendly. Please print this article and share it with your friends and family.”

122 Israeli children have been killed by Palestinians and 869 Palestinian children have been killed by Israelis

1,084 Israelis and 4,398 Palestinians have been killed

7,633 Israelis and 31,168 Palestinians have been injured.
The U.S. gives $15,139,178 per day to the Israeli government and military and $232,290 per day to Palestinian NGO’s.

Israel has been targeted by at least 65 UN resolutions and the Palestinians have been targeted by none
1 Israeli is being held prisoner by Palestinians, while 9,599 Palestinians are currently imprisoned by Israel

0 Israeli homes have been demolished by Palestinians and 4,170 Palestinian homes have been demolished by Israel
The Israeli unemployment rate is 9%, while the Palestinian unemployment is estimated at 40%

60+ new Jewish-only settlements have been built on confiscated Palestinian land between March 2001 and July 11, 2003. There have been 0 cases of Palestinians confiscating Israeli land and building settlements

Worst Case Scenario

2007-01-09T09:07:00.000+02:00

When meetings are boring, full of talking, & time wasting.
Requirements are unambiguous, incomplete, & inconsistent.
Analysis is shortened, infeasible, & incorrect.
Specification document is not written, or unused, & out-of-date.
Assigned tasks are reassigned, & assigned for inappropriate person, or tasks are misestimated, unclear, & changeable.
TTLs (Technical Team Leaders) are busy with team members, releases, & planning.
PMs (Project Managers) are taken up by clients, meetings, & decisions.
Tools are complicated, numerous, & need web services to interact. Machines – computers – are used up, hanged, & broken down.
Coding is puzzling, taking so much time of nights & weekends, & has open issues.
Solution is buggy, with missing functions, & crashes.
Deadline is close, sharp, & fixed.
Still we can deliver the best! This is called adventure, challenge, & risk. With deep there success exists! That makes us alive, & adds taste to our lives!

The problem is I feel like pressing Esc (Escape) button, & quitting my job! I don’t know why I’m not enjoying the ride anymore! I wasn’t so ever! This is not the real ME!

Sweetest 5arof Ever

2006-12-28T11:39:00.000+02:00

I don’t eat sheep meat, I don’t like it!
But as for cookies; I adore them.
This cute cookie sheep was given by our new HR manager, as a seasons greetings …
Happy 3ed every1

rare Birthday Surprise

2006-12-19T14:04:00.000+02:00

When I first saw it @ the office this morning,
I was going to cry! & when I’ve known the senders,
I wanted to cry much more than before.

Love you all so much, thanks so much …
I’m speechless …

u’ve made my year :)

How to Make the Right Decision

2006-12-17T09:11:00.000+02:00

To make the right decision, take into account:-

the situation u r n now,
the situation u would like to b n, n th future,
resources available,
what other people will accept,
the feasibility of different options,
the time factor

From book: 30 Minutes ... to Make the Right Decision, by Jane Smith

Success Quotes & My Comments

2006-11-15T08:29:00.000+02:00

Anthony Robbins: If you can’t, you must. If you must, you can.
rare: What if I can, but I don't want!

Unknown: Success is doing ordinary things extraordinary well.
rare: sometimes more is less

Euripides: Much effort, much prosperity.
rare: by using mind! Otherwise dummies win!

E. F. Shumacher: It is never very clever to solve problems. It is far cleverer not to have them. rare: When they are solved, they are gone!

George Bernard Shaw: Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius.
rare: makes sense!

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It is not length of life, but depth of life.
rare: depth + blessings = greater life, here & there!!!

Lily Tomlin: I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
rare: so chose the one u want to be, or create ur own!

Unknown: Footprints on the sands of time are not made by sitting down.
rare: also by running, they'll not appear as footprints!

Winston Churchill: Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm
rare: although I hate u Churchill, but u r right 100%

Maya Lin: To fly, we have to have resistance.
rare: & to survive! I dedicat it to Palestine, Iraq, & all occupied countries

Died under Mysterious Circumstances

2006-10-18T13:09:00.000+02:00

A cat died under mysterious circumstances in our Garages yesterday.
The cat’s mother was near its daughter, till there was no hope to survive! A scene that I’ll never forget! The mother was helpless & powerless as watching its daughter dying painfully, slowly, and quietly!
When agony has started, the mother has said goodbye & has left her daughter!

The kitten continued struggling with death! White liquid was thrown from its mouth, pimples on its foot, & tremble in the body!

I’m curious to know why the cutie petite kitten has died! Was it a poisonous food! Was it fungal?

Anyway! It was sooooo cute before all that!

عزيزتي فلسطين...

2006-09-28T17:20:00.000+03:00

عزيزتي فلسطين،

لقد مرّ اليوم دون أن يذكرك أحد – أمامي! لم أسمع اسمك، ولم أشرك
بنقاشٍ حولك!

أعلم أنك قد إعتدتي أن تكوني قضيةً منسيةً! لكن اليوم ليس كأي يوم؛ فقبل 6
سنوات كان شارون يدنس المسجد الأقصى و يتجول فيه، و كانت الإنتفاضة الثانية قد
بدأت.

ربما ما مرينا به من أحداثٍ في هذه السنة أنسانا تلك الذكرى، أو ربما تناسينا
ذلك اليوم، لأننا لم نعثر على عذرٍ نختلقه لتأخرنا عليك! أظن أننا بحاجةٍ
لإنتفاضةٍ تنفضنا لكي نستيقظ .

Palestinian Dispersion in Another Way

2006-09-17T09:32:00.000+03:00

I just wanted to share the – whole day – family gathering; traveling, eating, walking, shopping, & having fun! But isreal won’t let it go!

When you cross the isreal bridge – as called JESER YAHOOD; the number of your bag is stuck as a label on the back of your passport, I usually take the sticker of, but in my last visit, it was really sticky that it needs so many liquids to remove it, so I postponed it for later on, till I forgot.

ELMOHEM cos of the remaining sticker on my passport I was forbidden to enter Syria! & so I went back to Amman, after I have prepared my mood for the trip. All the family has crossed the boarders, my sis & I went home!

That didn’t spoil my day, I had my plans, and I’ve got new friends :) I’ve won them from the book exhibition – yesterday was its last day. Any way all I wanted was to spend the whole day with my family, as I rarely have the chance of doing that.

Again Palestinian dispersion in another way!

Enjoy Your Staying @ the Barrier!

2006-09-04T09:41:00.000+03:00

Believe it or not!You can’t travel/move in your country/home freely, easy, simply!

Imagine everyday you should pass by at least one barrier & stand in a long queue to go to work, or school, or visit!

Btw while waiting for your turn, u can enjoy an ice cream or a drink or a cup of coffee – as they have started selling them early this summer in most of the barriers all over Palestine!

Keep Your Country Nice & Clean

2006-08-16T08:05:00.000+03:00

Congratulation Arab World - specially Lebanon.
Now it's time to clean up the other occupied coutries!

History Repreats Itself

2006-07-30T16:16:00.000+03:00

The link below redirects you to a flash movie - a nice one - about Qana Massacre the First. http://www.russoom.com/artists/ihab_salha/animations/qana

I think it needs some updates; to link it with Qana Massacre the Second!

History repreats itself! Qana again has been rained with missiles --> same tragedy is back.
In addition of the routine calamity; Palestinians & Lebanese are living in --> Same silence is still there.

I wonder when will the history repreat our old - unforgettable- victories!

World Teams

2006-07-09T11:48:00.000+03:00

Watching the World Cup, I started to compare the teams’ situation, to the software project team that I am working with. All teams are the same! Here are some of the similar situations.
A player might be entered in the middle of the game, and so does a new team member who might join the project after it has started. In both situations the new member should be ready to be in the mood, by giving attention to the whole game as a football player, or by reading and knowing what the project is all about as a software project member.
A player might leave the game in any time either by red card, or by the coach request. So does a member in a software project; a member might leave whether by himself or herself, or by the project manager decision. In both situations the other team members should be able to cope with this change, it might cause modifications on the plan, and members might change some roles or hold more responsibilities. On the other hand, the leaving member should not cause any noise while leaving.
The playing tactic might change through the match. Also in a software project the overall plan might be changed 180 degree. The manager and the coach are seeing things clearer than the team members. Changing the plan is not easy and it is risky, but for sure the boss doesn't take that decision unless it is needed.
Injuries might occur in a critical time of the match. Also a certain circumstance might occur for a team member. Coach should be able to handle that, and keep the whole team calm, there should be an alternative plan for such cases. As well the manager should be able to manage with the new state, and the whole team should shift to plan B.
Playing alone with the ball excluding the whole football team is a big mistake. Players should do their roles, keeping the sharing sprit and the team work. Each member in the software project has his or her own role, team should be cooperative.
Losing a game is not a one’s fault; it is the fault of the whole team. As for a software project, late and poor delivery of the product should not be thrown upon a developer or a quality engineer, the whole team is blamed.
And the list goes on with situations that are the similar in a football team or a software project team. Out project's deadline is close, and so is the final World Cup match. So good luck for both.

American Embassy Fault

2006-06-25T11:29:00.000+03:00

Who live in Amman - Jordan, knows that in the American Embassy Street, it’s nearby side is closed – so no cars can pass it - & the other side has two opposite lanes!
My younger brother doesn’t!
When he was walking there, the traffic light was red & the cars were stopped, so he crossed that side, without noticing that the lane might have a car from the other direction, a pickup has run over him! His leg has been broken!
When you ask my brother how the accident occurred, he’ll begin his answer by “it’s the American Embassy fault!” :)
Poor brother, he’ll live his summer vacation with the plaster all over his thigh & leg.

Growing city & less rain ...

2006-05-26T14:32:00.000+03:00

Still the green do exist here!